Kimra Luna’s Twisty Path From Freedom Hacker to Online Sexpert

Nicole Holland 0:00
Hey there conscious creator, I'm your host, Nicole Holland. Thanks for joining me for another episode where we're exploring how to do life more on your own terms through entrepreneurship and alignment. I believe that each and every one of us has the unlimited ability to create and experience a life full of passion, joy and abundance. Through this podcast, it's my intention that you will find inspiration to support you in stepping up and into your bigger vision. The Nicole Holland show is brought to you in part by meaningful mentorship, my dynamic exponential program for 30 to 50 something entrepreneurs who are ready to leave their current status quo behind and consciously create a more meaningful, fulfilling and Purpose Driven Life for themselves and their loved ones. To learn more, visit http://meaningfulmentorship.com. Please be mindful that this podcast is marked E for explicit because from time to time, we may use language or discuss topics that are not intended for little ears. And now, let's dive into today's episode.

Hello, hello. Welcome back to the show Nicole Holland here and I'm super stoked about today's guest. She has been in the online world for quite some time. She has colorful hair. She has a colorful personality and she does things her own way and I love it. I love who she is how she is, she speaks her mind. She is just the embodiment of authenticity. And I'm super excited that kimbra Luna, a cosmic sensuality coach, pleasure activists and host of the riot doll podcast founder of the cosmic connection coven recognized as the ultimate resource community for all things sex, love and relationships. Kim was determined to disrupt the status quo helping women discover pleasures that they've always dreamed up while shedding away Sexual shame, leading to more fulfilling relationships. It is an honor, a privilege and so exciting to have you here camera. Thanks for joining us. Thanks for having me. Absolutely. So you have been been around for quite some time. When I quit my job as a correctional officer and started learning about the online world you were the first people that I came across that I actually resonated with. And just before we hit record, we were just talking about the lighting you were setting your lighting up it's not normally where you do your your videos from and I'm sitting here it's been storming and like I can't get the right light and I'm just like, you know what, I don't care. Because this is just you know, we're going with the flow and it brought it brought me back in talking about that with you. It brought me back to when I first saw you doing videos, just really throwing them up there like you You were so good at it but they were so you were doing them all time you're doing these webinars when webinars weren't really a thing yet. And so yeah, I would love it if we could just start with kind of a backstory, a short, quick backstory about where you were at and how you decided to get into the online coaching, marketing, whatever space so if you can, let's start there.

Kimra Luna 3:24
Yeah, it really started about 11 years ago when I started my first community online. On technically I had some communities before that even when I was in high school, I had AOL communities. But I've started my first Facebook community 11 years ago, and it was a vegan vegan moms group. And I basically ended up life coaching a bunch of women, and that's what really got me into be like, oh, like, I can coach and then I started becoming certified and like, dude, you know, doing all the things I needed to do to do it right. And then eventually, I have A vegan mommy blog that got extremely popular. And because of the popularity of that, people kept asking me, hey, how do you grow this? How did you make a community grow so big? Like, like, people just started asking me how I did it. And so that's when I started teaching how I did it. And the fastest way to teach was utilizing webinar presentations. And I was actually quite horrified because the way I look and the way you know, like my punk rock and my punk rockness, and I don't really like, hide that, you know, I'm an activist and I speak up about all sorts of things in the world. I was kind of scared to be honest that people would even accept me or appreciate me because but the thing is, is I knew how to teach. And so I just kept teaching and teaching and teaching. And I ended up just building a brand off of all the stuff I knew. And it was it's still fascinating to me that I was able to grow something like that just off sharing my own knowledge. And now it has I was doing business and like marketing sort of coaching Like business strategy for the past six years, and I have now shifted into sex, love and relationship coaching. And a big piece of that is mostly around shame that seems to be the most common thread with my clients is sexual shame. And so I work on helping them dismantle that. And I really want to help kind of decolonize like the sexual shame that has been brought that was brought here to America, first of all from other cultures and religions and things, and really working on help dismantle all that. Wonderful. Okay, cool. We're gonna, if you don't mind, I want to dig in a little bit to the history. Because sometimes I find and I'm guessing you do as well, that sometimes we we zip past things, and we forget, not necessarily forget, I know you haven't forgotten, but sometimes we overlook the kind of pivot points that have been so profound, and I really want To go into this today because where you are today is so far off. And you've, you've emerged I think, you know, you've really allowed yourself as authentic and as open as you've always been. you've allowed yourself to blossom in so many different ways, even if their shame even if there's fear despite it and I think that this is something so key for people, especially in these times, to recognize you can do anything you want. You can be anyone you want, you can have anything you want. It's just a matter of where is the priority. So camera when you started your group for the vegan moms, was this when you were doing MLM I actually hadn't even done any of that at that point.

Later when I started my blog, I mean, I don't even consider myself that it wasn't MLM it was more of an affiliate because I didn't really recruit people like I never had house. parties are any of that stuff they like wanted me to do. I just blogged and then I would share a product so to me it was the same as like how like influencers share a candle company they like and make a commission. Like I don't consider myself like an MLM and I'm actually very anti MLM I actually do not like the the framing and the things that they do upon people who are for so I'm actually very anti MLM but I did make Commission's but I didn't really make very much I really only made like, my maximum month was about 200 a month. So and that was with blogging and blogging and blogging and I had tons of traffic.

So it was really interesting because I didn't really make very much money with it. So I just quit I was just like, what's the point in promoting these products if I'm not making very much money and then I started just selling my own products. I started selling my own.

Like recipe guides. I started selling meal plans and then I started working with clients one on one supporting them on you No creating a vegan kitchen and like how they can start doing that, or how they can provide vegan meals for their kids, you know, for school and that sort of stuff. So that was a very short lived thing. And it's I think it's kind of funny that people like Google that and they find it like, literally, I hated that experience, like probably more than any experience in my life. So yeah, jump in here. Yeah. Because from an outsider, looking in, back in those days, I find just a few things that are really interesting that you've pointed out and have, I think, taken you in many ways to where you are today. People don't like people see a product that is a multi level product, multi level marketing product, and they think, Okay, I'm gonna go and as you talked about the praying and the model and all of that I couldn't agree with you more. I think there's amazing, amazing people who many are listening to this podcast right now, who fall into that because they See, they're like, Oh, I love this product. I love this thing I know it helps me and my family. And it's so easy for them then to get, you know, to get sold the dream and then everybody I think feels bad about it when they do it. And there's this this love, I'm not going to get into it from the MLM side. But what I love is you mentioned affiliate and this is something I think a lot of people don't realize. And as you progressed in your business, I cannot even imagine that affiliate marketing did not become one of your main income streams considering how easy webinar was something you promoted and as you grew in your, in your own positioning and visibility. Can you talk a little bit about that about actually and you know what, one more thing I want to touch on before we get into that, but I definitely want to get into that. You were were you on welfare at some point. And food stamps, like, I was on welfare my whole adult life until I started my online business. So even as a child, I was raised on welfare, I was raised by a single mom of five kids. I literally never knew a time of not being on welfare. And when I turned 18 years old, it was like my big mission to not ever have to do that. And I started my own business. I was booking concerts for a living, I actually had a very successful business. By the time I was like, 18 years old, 19 years old, I was already doing very well in business. And then the I got pregnant with my first son in 2008. And that's when the economy crashed, and then no one was going to concerts anymore. And so I basically lost my business. And the reason why I've been able to have success now is because I've made huge mistakes and I've lost lots, like losing my booking agency and all of that, like I lost that literally everything and then being coming pregnant with my first son while the economy crashed I ended up living on welfare and we and my my soon to be ex husband we were on welfare for five years living in like a small room at my in laws house. Once we were able to get off of welfare, he finally was able to get a job he got off of welfare, I became a stay at home mom and that was when I started creating my you know, all of my stuff. I had already had my mommy Facebook group for years before that though, like I had that while I was still on welfare and I was just helping people and like trying to learn and like saving up money to get certifications and and things like that. And it was just more about community I love community that's like my number one I would say my number one strength just my natural kind of superpower is creating community. And yeah, so that was a big piece of it is like me like being on welfare. It was a whole horrible thing. But while I was on welfare, I was reading personal development books. I was making sure I went to therapy. I was making sure I was healing myself. Like, I wasn't just like being a victim, like, Oh, I'm some victim on welfare. I was like, No, like, I know I can create something better for my family. It sucks right now. It's horrible right now. But I'm gonna, I'm gonna find a way. And then eventually I did, which was the internet. I think that this is like, I mean, you did this so many years ago when the internet wasn't what it is today. And now we have all these tools and all these like, all this tech and everything to me, you didn't even have membership platform. I sang I remember. And I was selling like digital products. Just like I had to give people a Dropbox. You know, like I like there wasn't even a membership site. I could put somebody Yeah, like, I remember to my first summit, there was no like, like, what was a so it's a summit like I built that I've created all the different, you know, all the different things and then it's like, oh, now people can just get summit avox got a thing that's like, that's awesome that just it's so much easier and there's so much content out there, you know, and you get what you pay for. And you got to look around and all but what I love about this is I feel like there's a lot of what you went through. And in that time, a lot of people who never imagined facing poverty before are now terrified, and they're in this space of like Doomsday, and I know you're a big advocate for mental health. I think there's a lot of things that are going to be happening over these next months and years that are really can can be really damaging. And I want to just really get across with with your, with your being and who you are and what you've done. I want people to hear that me This is that anything is possible and if I'm hearing you right when you started creating your your Facebook group for vegan mommies and you started giving you came from a space of how can I serve? How can I learn? How can I help? But you weren't coming from a place of how can I make money? Is that right? I literally give zero

Kimra Luna 14:15
shits about money at all.

I don't I don't need it most of my money ends up going out and my ex husband actually had to stop me from donating so much money because that's like all like it comes in as give it right out. So money really has never been something I've ever cared about. You know, as someone raised on welfare my whole life. It's like who needs money, like it just never was a thing.

It's just because I ended up serving so many people that ended up becoming an accumulation of money, which was very bizarre. I had to like hire people to teach me how to budget and like, you know, all of the it was very strange coming from such an impoverished background where you know, living Really, most of my meals were just the school lunch that I ate. And that was it for pretty much majority of my childhood. In the summertime, I had to go walk miles to the park to go get a free lunch in them every day with my little brother and my little sister and he was like a baby, you know, like I had to, like, do those sorts of things just even get fed. And so, you know, being raised on such poverty and then having more money as an adult, like, it's like, it's very shocking. It's very, it's, it's almost still jarring to me. Like it's very strange. And when we say like, you're talking millions, right? Yes. So just so people understand, like, we're not talking about, you know, you just all of a sudden, you know, started making, you know, $100,000 a year like you jumped from zero to seven figures, right? In 18 months we went from because my ex husband had a job he was making about 2200 a month and we jumped in at months, we jumped to over seven figures. And that was I mean, of course was very, very significant and I was pregnant with my third son at the time. And I joke that he that it was a pregnancy of luxury because my first two pregnancies I was on welfare and like, you know, I couldn't get massages or acupuncture are things I needed for pain or I couldn't even buy all the supplements I needed and, and that sort of stuff. And then with his pregnancy, I was able to like, do all these like glamorous things. I was like, you were very lucky baby in my belly. And so it was it was definitely a very different experience just from having those pregnancies to like, one where it's like, oh, I was able to have like a postpartum doula who came to my house and like, helped me and supported me. And, you know, it was it was just so different, even just financially, you know, from baby to baby. And, you know, like, it made me more grateful, obviously for money and then I was able to see money as a very big tool and like humanity affiliates you know as my grant brand had grown I began being able to to support other people's businesses by promoting their products and I still I make affiliate commissions from all sorts of things sometimes I'm like, oh,

there's more money in my paypal like it's very like like I guess I don't even log into it very often and then I'll go and check it and um, okay and then I need to put that money in my business bank account, you know, but I'm just like, like, I don't even pay much attention to it but I still make affiliate commissions because people they'll ask me now they'll say camera I want to make sure if I you know, use this tool, you get a kickback on it. And people ask me they literally send me messages Hey, do you have an affiliate link for this? Because they they want to support me you know, even if maybe they can't buy my product or they can't afford coaching from me or something like that. They still want to support me in some way if they know they need to use a tool for their business. Love it. Amazing. Okay, so you have your you're still earning affiliate commission. Can we just touch on for anybody listening? I think most of my audience that doesn't know what affiliate commission is. But I think there's sometimes some, some, like a lack of clarity around that. So you said like getting kickback and stuff. Can you just explain number one? What it is? And number two, was it intentional? You said, as your brand grew, you could help more other companies. But Was this something that like people were coming to you for? Were you going and looking for, hey, I love this product. Let me help my people, my clients, my followers, because you have this like enormous fan base. Were you thinking? Where did it start with you thinking about how you could help your clients or let us know about that? Yeah, I had known about affiliate marketing for a very long time, because I had been a blogger. I mean, I've been blogging since I was like 15. So I've been a blogger for a really, really long time. And so I'd known about it for a long time, but I never really knew how to do it. And when I had my vegan Mommy blog, there were you know, companies like you know, Vitamix that would give you a commission if you promoted their product. And so it went, even when I came into my, you know, my more current stuff. Yeah, absolutely. I was thinking about affiliates. And even now I have a new podcast, the riot podcast, I already have sponsorships, I already have affiliates, that I'm going to be you know, talking about and sharing on those episodes. It's kind of part of creating generational wealth. For me, it's something that's very important for me is to create wealth also for my children and teach them how to do affiliates. And they grow up in the YouTube generation. To them, it's normal, like they will actually come to me and tell me their favorite YouTuber is promoting a product like they tell me they say, oh, they're promoting a product. They make affiliates like you, you know, like, they know like, and I'm grateful that my kids like understand these things. And I'm, I'm working on affiliates for you know, like, other different physical products, because I haven't really promoted a lot of physical products. But you know, now I'm like promoting like sex toys. You know, like, I've mostly promoted horses for the most part over the years. But now I'm promoting like actual more a lot more physical products and, and I'm excited for it. I'm really excited for my new shift where, you know, there's going to be a lot more physical product promotion rather than rather than, you know, techie sort of software, which is pretty much most of my Commission's come from that currently. I love it. I love how you talk about generational wealth, because that is, even though you said before money doesn't matter. It does to to you for your children and their children to stop the cycle. Amazing. Yes. And I want my kids to be able to go to college if they can, you know, like my sister never went to college because she couldn't afford it. I went for about a semester and then I just couldn't afford it anymore. You know, and I want my children if they want to become a doctor or a freakin NASA scientist that they can just go and so I want my children to have, you know, more than than I was able to have. And I think it's really important that people talk more about generational wealth and teach budgeting and teach how to work the system. I mean, we live in this like capitalistic system, which sometimes is really, really, really crappy, especially the way gigantic organizations treat people and treat their employees, you know, but we can, you know, use the system to our advantage also. And we have to educate ourselves and join communities where people aren't afraid to talk about money and talk about how they're saving up money to buy a house and like, that sort of stuff is very important. And that's one reason why I actually left the East Coast because I was living in New York City, and now I live here in Idaho was so that I could be able to buy homes and own multiple homes. My sister lives here and she owns multiple homes here and a home in Washington. And she is not like she's super wealthy or makes loads of money or something. It's just she was really good at saving and she's figured out you You know how to do it. And I'm just like, hey, if my sister can do it, like I can do it. And again, we all we come from just straight up dirt poverty, you know, we were the kids that got made fun of because our clothes were stinky, because we didn't have water running. We couldn't even wash the laundry, you know, and then we go to like owning homes like it's, it's very different. And I really want my kids to be able to see that. But I also teach my kids about money. Like it's very, it's a super important topic to me. Like if they want an app,

Kimra Luna 22:27
like on their iPad, they have to earn it.

Like I don't just say, Oh, yeah, just buy it. No, it's like, Hey, we haven't we have an entertainment budget this month. And if we go past it, sorry, dude, you have to wait till next month to get it or you can raise money to get it.

Nicole Holland 22:42
So good. I know that for me, one of the biggest lessons, it's crazy. But one of the biggest lessons that I learned from my father that I was like, always stayed with me in terms of money is really understanding like that you need to identify what's it worth to you? Like, what is the value not what is the value to others or whatever. And when I was a kid, I got to that point where I didn't want to be having clothes bought for me. I wanted to pick out my own clothes. And so my father said, Okay, well, to me and my brother, here's your budget, right? Here's what you get to spend per season, or whatever. And so Sean, my brother, he was all about the Nike, Nike Air Jordans at the time, or whatever it was, he liked shoes. And so he would buy these super expensive shoes, and I couldn't care less about name brands. I just wanted things that felt good, and that I liked the look of and I didn't care what others thought I'm still the same. Like I'm sitting here and I think that right now,

you know, like that was comfortable for me.

And so I got to learn that that budgeting thing from him and then I found this article in a magazine and they took it to him. I go look at this. And it was all about cost per wear and assessing. If you buy this thing like this really high quality thing, how many wires are you going to get out of it versus if you buy this junk, whatever. So I think about when you talk about that, because it is something I think is so, so vitally important for a child's entire life that we don't talk about enough. We don't talk about Yeah, it's just true and a lot of kids it's just they just want to buy a bunch of cheap stuff that's target and you know, and my kids are like, Oh, that's cute. That's cute. And I'm like that's gonna fall apart if you wear it like three times like you know, like let's go to buy a nicer pair of jeans. That's actually going to last you for the whole school year. Because Yeah, if I buy something at target the kids just it just falls apart literally. I'm just like, buy you know, like I'm just what's the point of even buying this you know, it's just literally going to turn dwindle into nothing after a few washes, you know, and so you know, the quality definitely matters and then I also care where products come from. So typically I like to buy a lot of my kids clothes like from Etsy and you know, have people that actually like make their clothes. I trust more of the fabrics and stuff. A lot of my stuff I buy from Etsy I buy too much stuff from Etsy. My ex husband did have to cut me off from Etsy at one point. So there's been a few things that he's just like, okay, no more donating and no more Etsy too much like, like too much is going but I love just supporting artists and creatives and, you know, I can't really help myself when it comes to that. I'm like, the one that goes to the farmers market just like buys all the things from all the people because I'm just like, I just want to support you,

Kimra Luna 25:34
you know, I do know so it's

it Yeah, it's it's I just have one I support everyone you know, and and I think that's something like someone was just telling me yesterday she was one of my friends from my high school and she came over to help me do some yard work and stuff and and because like she doesn't like for you know, for money like she does yard and stuff. And so she came over and she's like, yeah, camera. She's like, you've always just been a person that just generous. She's like, you You just give everything and I'm like, that's, I'm glad that you think that of me, you know, and and she's someone that know me a very very, very long time, you know? And she's like, he's like, that's literally if I think of him, right, I think that you're just generous and you just want to give and give and give and give. And I've always done that, whether it's with my content, like even when I was doing a lot of webinar presentations on business, there were people criticizing me saying I was giving away too much information and they were like, you should just sell that inside of a course. I was just like, no, like, What are you talking about? Like, how Why would I hold myself back from giving information? Someone asked me a question. I'm gonna answer the dang thing. Like, like it just to me, that was such a lack mindset. And I really believe that, you know, especially in education, like as someone who is an educator, you know, I really believe that I want everyone to be alive accesses information. Education is super expensive in the United States. And a lot of people cannot afford to get education they need even if it's education on like mental health or Or like things that are really crucial to them, they're not able to get that education and I want there to be as much of it free out there as possible. Of course, I sell paid courses. And in those types of courses, you know, usually it's a bit more of a commitment. So people do take the work and actually do an apply the work. So but I do want to make sure I always have a lot of free information. That's why I do podcasts. That's why I do my YouTube channel. That's why I do free workshops. That's why I have a free community where people can literally ask me any question anytime they want. And it's just, I just want people to be able to be educated. So good. I love it. Okay, so be mindful of time and we could I could go on with you for hours. But to be mindful of time, I definitely want to talk about this pivot of how you decided that you wanted to go into where you're at now. Because it just seems from an outsider like such a wow, like such a big jump and I found it interesting how You announced it. And obviously, you must have been doing things before you made the big announcement. But I would love to learn about how kind of what went what would you what Linda, would love to learn about what you went through in terms of recognizing first and foremost that you wanted to do something different. then deciding, okay, I am doing it, how you're doing it, how you've made that decision, and then the actual transition. I think those four things are just so important because a lot of times people jump in to something without really thinking it through and maybe that's what you did, but I have a sneaking suspicion it is not what you did. And I think a lot of times people see people making pivots or doing things and they think, oh, okay, I'm going to do that. I'm going to do that and they are not met with success. So take us through that.

Yeah, so I

first started really getting interested in becoming a sex love and relationship coach.

When I was going through my divorce, I had moved to New York City, my youngest son was like six months old at the time, and I started going to sex therapy because I thought something was wrong with me, I didn't really have any desire for my husband at all. And actually, the only time that ever really desired him was when I wanted a baby, which seems very bizarre. But that was the truth. And I've actually met several other women that have had very similar experiences as that as like when they really wanted to make a baby. They're like, yeah, they're all like after their husband and I in between those times, I didn't have desire for him whatsoever. And so I thought something was wrong with me. And even though I've been doing tons of personal development work, tons of healing work. I was like, why don't I have this desire? And we spent two years with like sex therapists with you know, relationship because is like all of these things like trying to get

me to desire him.

And I was like, This isn't working like I'm just done like, I don't even want to try anymore. I've spent so much money on all these therapists so much money on all these coaches, like, I just don't, I just I just don't like I'm done. I'm just done. And so we filed for a separation and it's been almost three years now. And right after the separation, you know, I started, you know, dating and things like that. And I had a perfectly fine sexual desire. There was nothing wrong with it at all. Like I was just like, actually, I really like love sex. Like, this is amazing, you know, like, like, I still had that desire. And when I look back on it, it's because I had worked on my forgiveness work. I had worked on my shame work I had worked on like, you know, body image issues, like I like, I had worked on all of the stuff. You know, I when I was a child, I was molested as a child. I was, you know, raped when I was actually a few months before I even met my husband. I had been raped by a friend. So I had gone through a lot of sexual trauma, but I've been doing so much personal development work. And I've been in therapy for many years at that point that, you know, you would have thought, Oh, I should have so much sexual desire towards my husband. No, I just didn't want him it was just it. Like, I just didn't have that passion for him. And so I knew going through that myself, there must be other women that have gone through this there must be other people who have gone through this. So I, you know, started like hiring like a sex coach myself and a dating coach myself as I was getting into the dating world as a single mom. And it started you know, being like, oh, like, this is actually what I want to do. Like, I want to help people, like be able to not have this sexual shame and be able to say like, this is what I want in the bedroom and this is what you know, I want in a relationship and being very clear about it and having the boundaries from day one with a partner. Like being able to like, like, I would literally be on a date and we would have like a checklist of like, these are the things that Be like in the bedroom. These are the things we don't like in the bedroom. Like if you were like what, like they thought I was like crazy, but I was like, You know what, I live in New York City, I might as well test this out on some guys. Right? So like, I was just like doing that and, you know, and you know, as dating women and just just dating, just to see like, what was out there like in the world, right? And, and it kind of just became my passion because I started seeing all these things that were going on with a lot of people. And then I discovered a lot with men, that with a lot of the men, they have a lot of trauma. And in a lot of these dating communities, there's a lot of this like, oh, he needs to be alpha all the time. And if he's not, oh, just go start dating other people like don't even like he'll, he'll come back when he's like, ready, rather than supporting men. And it was it's been very confusing for me because I joined all these dating groups to kind of like, read what they were posting and a lot of things really rubbed me the wrong way. So it actually lit more of a fire under my ass in general to be like, you know, I have to do this because this information that they're sharing, it's like I want to want someone saying that about my son, or even about my ex husband, you know, like, I wouldn't want people saying these things about men, you know. And so there's a lot of these, you know, groups, whether it's a lot of toxic behavior they're trying to manipulate men into marrying them, is what it basically seems like like having a ring is pretty much more important than if the relationship is even healthy or not. And so, you know, I want to be able to keep creating content that kind of like debunks all of that information. You know, like, they'll say, like, oh, like the woman shouldn't like, tell the guy like they're interested or they shouldn't pursue the man. I'm just like, I pursued my boyfriend and actually turned out really great. So I don't know what the hell you're talking about, you know? So it's it's very interesting to some of the information that is out there and some of it's very toxic. And I want to make sure that I'm putting content out there that is more trauma informed, because a lot of these communities just aren't and as someone who has PTSD, I was, you know, diagnosed with PTSD. I was hospitalized with it. When after my first son was born because my postpartum depression is very severe. And you know, that's also one reason why I'm a huge mental health advocate is because I have a lot of stuff that I've been working on for all of my adult life. And, you know, like, I just kind of came to this part where I was like, You know what, like, we need to talk about dating with the trauma knowledge, because people aren't doing that. And it's really, really messing up a lot of relationships that could actually be very healthy and very loving, beautiful relationships. But they're kicking people to the curb if they have one day where they they feel disconnected. They're just like, oh, it feels disconnected. Oh, like just kick the guy to the curb. When really, he lost his job and his grandma died in the same week, you know, and I'm just like, why are they like not talking to this person? Like they're just like abandoning a person. And then there's all this ghosting that's going on, and that's creating a lot of trauma as well. People don't know how to create indicate when they're dating to say, hey, you're really great, but you know, I'm not really interested in what was going on right now, it's not that hard to send a message to a person to say that and people are ghosting and it's actually really hurting people's self esteem. Like it's harmful to ghost a person like, like, unless that person was like being really horrible and like stalking you or something, there's like no reason to just ghost a person you went on a date with and say, like, just never speak to them ever again. You know, like, let them know, hey, like, I don't think this is gonna work out. Just let them know. You know, it's not that hard. But people dating coaches aren't even telling people this. I'm like, we need to not traumatize people more and more and more. So then they have more baggage when they go into the next relationships. It's like, we need to really work on this thing. So you started sharing these thoughts? And at what point did it become clear to you that you wanted to shift your whole business and everything from what you

might had already wanted to shift it years ago, the only reason why I hadn't was Because I was still going through my divorce, and I didn't know what my financial outcomes of that was going to be. So I so what I did is I closed down all of my online courses. literally almost three years ago, I closed down most of them. And I haven't even had a website in three years. I haven't who have said it's being built currently. But I hadn't had a website in almost three years, which most of you are like, like, That's weird. But I've always been I've been able to get clients because I had already built a reputation. So I continue to have one on one clients, I did some joint masterminds with some people. And so I just use that to like, keep everything afloat. Basically, I did with my divorce, I had to let go of my team, which was devastating to me, most of the people had been on my team for four or five years. So that was, that was the most heartbreaking thing probably in my whole life was like letting go of team because they had backed me up for all that time. You know, they were very loyal. And it was so that was very difficult. And so I kind of went through a bunch of difficult things all at once. I knew if I could just focus on my business coaching the thing I'm good at, I'm just gonna keep focusing on that so I can at least make sure all my bills are paid. My youngest son is also autistic and so his therapy is in between 3000 to 5000 a month. So that's I had to make sure you know I can afford those things. So I just went straight into one on one coaching for about the past two years and while I've been doing that Philly

affiliate has been

Yeah, that really keeps me kind of a flow I mean, my affiliate that's going to all my affiliate stuff, because because if someone signs up for a software they're paying monthly for it, you know, so I make a

big affiliate launch Yeah,

I've done a few Yeah, I've got a few those have definitely kept me afloat too. And so I'll make Commission's and things but yeah, I really the past few years just been keeping myself above water while I'm working on my certification programs. So I you know, I have sex love relationship certification. Like I'm working through an NLP certification hypnosis certification. I'm just working on all these certifications because I just want to have all the things and all the tools to help my clients and create really great content for my courses becoming EFT certified. I've been doing EFT for like 14 years. But now I'm finally becoming actually certified in it, you know, so I really just wanted to be able to focus my energy on that. So it's basically just, I just been doing one on one coaching, and then focusing on you know, building my skill set. And, and that really, it's gone really great for me. And then finally, I was like, You know what, like, I really want to start a podcast. And that was really kind of the big turning point was when I was like, You know what, I want to start a podcast that is just about whatever the hell I want to talk about. Because I feel like I've had multiple podcasts before I've had ones that were exclusively more on mental health. I've had ones that work more exclusively on just, you know, personal branding and things so I think I've had like six podcasts like I can't even remember may about. So I've had like six different podcasts and, and you know, I decided I'm just going to do one that's whatever kimbra is about, and so I'm calling it right All podcasts, which is TM, just so you know. So Riot doll is like my new brand. And I am interviewing people on everything from their plant medicine ceremonies, to how to create safer spaces, to just music and art and activism. I'm really just kind of just being myself and creating a brand around that. Rather than, you know, having it be just a complete specific focus.

Because that's just

not me, you know, like, I am a person who I have a lot of interest, whether it's from veganism to rollerskating to parenting, to being like the skateboarding Mom, you know, like what I've heard it like, I just have all of these interests in painting, like, you know, and tech, I love tech, like, I'm super nerdy about like, the app and stuff, you know, so I'm just like, I'm just gonna talk about whatever the hell I want to talk about and make a brand around that. If there's like a zillion YouTubers who do that. Why am I not doing that? So I don't want To be completely just sex love relationship, even though that is an important piece of everything because that's obviously what my programs and courses are around. But most of my courses, it's really about like, confidence and like slowing down and like feeling your body and like even just recognizing your own body and like looking at it even, you know. So a lot of that is just that all healing work. And it's kind of interesting because I've always been a bit of a healer like, you know, I've been I'm a Reiki Master and teacher, which most people don't know, I'm also a medium. And I do a lot of work primarily with people with communication with suicide. So I do a lot of work in that sort of space. I want to become a doula when my kids become teenagers. I'm gonna become a doula and like, you know, help people birthing all the babies, you know, like, I have so many interests that I'm like, I'm just gonna make a podcast. It's just about whatever the hell I want to talk about. And hopefully it turns out great. We're about to launch it. Have a episodes filmed and recorded already they're in the process of being edited. And I can't wait to just like launch that thing and and some of the guests I've had so far are freaking amazing so I'm super excited about that nice and is there a specific place you want people to go for that or anything else or is that just search for it on just Kimber aluna.com my website you know, it'll have all those spaces where you can find me, my community the cosmic connection, coven is on Discord.

We put it on discord because there's

there's just not so great terms of services on a lot of other platforms. So discord, what is discord? Sorry, discord is what what most gamers use for chatting with each other. And so basically, it's kind of like an AOL chat room slash slack because you create different channels on like different topics you want to talk about and we have everything from like an anti racism squad channel to talking about LGBTQ rights. To dating and relationships, and we also have a book club. We're currently working on the book attached. And we have about 170 people who have joined the book club. So super, and this is the first round. So I'm like, Oh my gosh, next time, it's probably going to be much bigger.

So this is not the Facebook group. Now I

no longer using Facebook groups at all. Like I'm pretty much exiling myself from Facebook. So Facebook all I'll use Facebook to maybe do ads for my business page, but because I talk a lot about sex, I'm going to be flagged and all this stuff anyway on Facebook. So most of my content and ways to learn about me is gonna end up being in the discord or on my Instagram or YouTube or podcast. But Facebook isn't really an optimal place for people who talk about, you know, low jobs and texting. You know, like, it's just it like, Facebook itself doesn't like those terms, and especially with Facebook groups. You can't really control the age of somebody joining And with discord because I have my group as a not suitable for work through, it makes it so that once people log in, they have to check I'm above 18 and before they can join the community so that way it also helps me for legal reasons as well. Because that's another another piece of it is like I have to make sure I'm legally putting out content you know, in the in the legal way, right you know, I don't want to end up having some issues or something down the line. However, I am going to be creating content for teenagers so I have some groups that I'm working with locally, where I'm going to be you know, doing in person sort of workshops for teenagers and that sort of stuff, which is, you know, obviously you know, get their parents permission and like that sort of thing. So just working on educating the world about sex and relationships and and you know, self love and self care and you know, that's kind of like my my journey right now. Remember, this has been amazing. Thank you so much for hanging out with us. And for sharing who you are and parts of your journey and what you're up to, it's it's really inspiring and I'm, I'm sure people are gonna want to learn more. So one more time, where can they go and

Nicole Holland 44:13
then any last words of wisdom.

So you can find me anywhere Kimra Luna so Kimra Luna on Instagram on YouTube, you can search the riot doll podcast, pretty easy to find Riot doll not very hard. I mean, there's nothing else with that name. So you know, it's pretty easy to find. And of course, you know, my discord community you can join on http://kimraluna.com um, you have to opt in to join but again, that's because I have to make sure everyone's you know of age to join the community because there are some scandalous things in there and some scandalous topic. And yeah, so those are the main places to find me. And you know, really my my last words would be, you know, if you're someone who's thinking about you know, shifting your business like Career really think about it, like think about what you want your end goal to be a lot of times we don't have like the big vision and and I have some huge visions for or what I'm going to end up creating. And yes, I'm starting small yes my community now it only has like 170 people in it, you know, so I'm literally starting from scratch, but I'm grateful for that, like, I want to start from scratch, like I love having this fresh start and I know I have to redo some of those things that I you know, did when I first had started because I do not have a big team currently, you know, I have, you know, my podcast editor and literally that's my whole team right now. So I'm starting from scratch, you know, gonna start you know, doing ads and all those things again, and, and sometimes we just have to do that. Sometimes it's okay to just burn it all down and start over, you know, and I want to say do that all the time. But sometimes when it is time and you know, you have that passion, that thing that you really want Want to go for and you really want to help people in the world in some sort of way? just burn everything down and start from scratch. Oh, such a powerful last word. Thank you so much. You're welcome. And there you have it. Thanks again for tuning in. I realize there are about a million other things that you could have been doing over the past hour. And the fact that you chose to spend it listening to this podcast seriously means the world to me. I would love to know what your biggest takeaway from today's episode was. So feel free to send it out on social tagging me at the Nicole Holland on Facebook or Instagram or send me a message directly from the website at the Nicole Holland calm. You'll also find show notes with the transcription from this and all of our past and future podcast episodes on the website. And that URL once more is the Nicole holland.com and if you would like to take the things you're learning to the next level in your life, check out my meaningful mentorship experience options at meaningful mentorship calm to discover opportunities that will support you in embracing life more on your own terms. Thanks to my podcasting goldmine team for production of today's episode, if you're wanting to attract more of your ideal clients and customers through the powerful medium of podcasts, let's talk we offer a complete suite of podcast marketing resources and services from launching or optimizing your very own profitable podcast to being featured guest on other premium podcasts and podcast sponsorship to request a complimentary consultation to explore how podcasts can generate new business for you visit http://theNicoleHolland.com/precall

apply for A complimentary consultation. Coming up on the podcast, you'll be meeting more incredible thought leaders and normal people living extraordinary lives because they've decided to consciously create the life of their dreams. Until next time, this is Nicole Holland signing off.