At the end of the day, you're building a lighthouse. Knowing what you don't want gives you the perfect opportunity to attract what you do want. For Possibility Synergist and Spiritual Guide Brooke Emery, it's important that it's the right fit and to not worry and get attached about just getting the sale. She says you have to come from a place of serving instead of a place of selling. Brooke shares that she is usually able to pick it up when people are in that space and have that agenda with her. Having that same vision and agenda helps to make the partnership move forward faster and easier.
Thank you to Chris Badgett from LifterLMS for introducing today’s episode. What he loves about The Business Building Rockstars Show is Nicole's ability to interview great guests, getting great ideas out of them, but even more importantly, she really drills in and gets those actionable nuggets of wisdom.
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Brooke Emery on Attracting the Perfect Clients
It's a pleasure to have my dear friend, Brooke Emery with us. Brooke, welcome.
Thanks for having me.
Just before I gave everybody a high level overview of who you are and what you do, but I know that's always changing as for me too and for many of us and you've really embraced that in your life. I admire that so much about you and we'll talk about our relationship and how we spent some time together. Before we dig in to that, do you want to tell people how you are showing up and serving and supporting people in the best way?
You described me as I'm multi-passionate. I have a background in a lot of things, marketing, PR, advertising, film, e-commerce. The list goes on. Sometimes my mom says, “I have a Forrest Gump background.” I've had a lot of different experiences. It lends itself nicely. I help multi-passionate entrepreneurs and businesses as a strategist, as a collaborator, as a joint venture. I do connections for people as well as pulling in all the resources that people need. I also have been a permanent fixture in the self-help section for over 25 years. I never claimed to know anything, but I do have some wisdom to share and I love holding space for people. Keeping people in a mindset to keep moving things forward from the point of view of being spiritually human, not thinking that you have to be perfect.
How did you come to get to that place of your spiritual connection? Was it always like that for you or is that something that happened later on in your life?
When I was little, I saw the movie, The Ten Commandments on TV and I had a very strong connection to it. I asked my parents to go to Hebrew school. Then from there on, my mom used to listen to things like Shakti Gawain and different subliminal things, Wayne Dyer on cassette tape and I became interested in it. Then in college, my good friend handed me the Way of the Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millmanin the early ‘90s. Then I kept going and kept going and it was searching and seeking just for my own self to understand how life worked and that's how it went.
At what point, did you bring that into the work that you do? You mentioned a little bit about the time we spent together. It was such a pleasure to have you in Ontario for my first retreat. I was so honored to have you there and it was very collaborative. One of the gifts that you brought to the group was a ritual, I would say. Maybe you can describe it better, but what I love about how I know you and how you show up is that you do have such a diverse background and such a strong background in so many grounded things like PR and marketing and joint venture partner ships and all of that. You also have this beautiful woo side and you've found a way of blending the two. Can you talk a little bit about held that came to be? Was that always the way it was or is that something that emerged?
Early on in my career, I worked in advertising, PR, marketing, and film. At some point, I knew that I wanted to jump into the coaching world. I was on my honeymoon and I went to Thailand and there was a service on the menu that said conversation with a friend where you can have a conversation with a monk. It was $200, and I said, “I have to do this. This is so out there, and I need to understand what this monk is going to tell me, but I had it in head that I was going to have him tell me what I wanted him to tell me,” which was quit your PR, start coaching and everything's going to be great. The monk came, and he said, “Don't quit until a certain time, you have to fall in love with where you are and then you can jump off.”
I listened to him and some great partnerships came out of me staying. I created some great strategic alliances like UNICEF. I didn't know that I knew how to do that. His advice to me was to fall in love with the situation. It would come at the right time. When the time was right, then I jumped out and started working with people individually and then more companies. I got certified in something called the Strategic Attraction Plan, which is attracting perfect customers, written by Jan Stringer. This is back in 2005. A lot of people do that now in terms of attraction plans, but they were the pioneers of this concept. I started working with people one-on-one to attract the perfect clients and then be on their biz dev team and connecting them and marrying all my loves of marketing and bringing transformation out into the world. I jumped off from there.
Tell us a little bit about if you would, I mentioned, ritual. That's how I described the experience that I had with you at the retreat. That's one thing that you do for people. You also run your own retreats. Can you talk about that a little bit and I don't even know the question there. It's you're so in flow.
When we got together, one of the things that we did was that we wrote as if it were a year from now so that we could get into the energy and the experience. The subconscious mind can't tell the difference between now and tomorrow. It was about getting into the flow of what we were wanting and what we were desiring from a place of joy and making it feel good. You had mentioned, “What if it doesn't happen? What if I get disappointed?” If it doesn't feel good, then don't do it. It has to feel good and right in the way. It's all about following your own intuition and that's something that drives me crazy in the coaching world, is that a lot of times, people will prescribe what's good for them and then not keeping account that that person has their own intuition and their own guidance.
Getting back to the ritual piece, it’s being in a space of listening and holding space for each other and tuning in to source, higher self, God, and I'm a big believer that everyone should. There are many gondolas going up the mountain going to the same place so whatever feels good to you and it's your truth. From my own experience, in my early days in the spiritual world or in the personal development world, I gave my power away to a lot of people and I didn't trust myself.
For me, save people time and money and being ripped off and also giving people the power to remember the truth, that they had the guidance within themselves, that there's really nowhere to get to. There's no journey. It's just the remembering of the truth of their own power. In terms of ritual, I have all kinds of different processes. We did some candle lighting and we handed out some crystals. We pulled cards, all from a place of play and fun and not really getting so into conclusion about any of it. It's about accessing your own truth and your own inner guidance. That's really what I love to do is seeing people have that experience.
Yes, it was perfect and amazing. Let me ask you this, how is it that we know? How can we tell when we're giving our power away I have often found myself where I feel like I'm standing in my power and I'm all good and then once time goes on, I'm feeling depleted and I don't realize how it's happened. I need that external person, which is why coaches need coaches. We all need a team of people to support us in different ways. It's when either somebody on my team points it out to me or I figured it out somehow, but it's easy for me to miss because it's so gradual I find. We do this in our personal lives and our professional lives as entrepreneurs, as parents, as friends in all different ways. We give our power away and we don't notice it as it's happening.
I usually will be able to tell by the way that I'm feeling. If I'm feeling irritated or I'm upset or it feels bad, I tune into how I'm feeling about the situation and then I'll check in, “Is it mine?” I do a little observation with myself. What is this and who does this belong to? What is going on? Is it the other person or is it my stuff? You phone a friend and/or a lot of times what I do is I journal. I do a lot of energy management exercises and you don't always have time. You're out and about and someone, just ticks you off and then you get sent down the rabbit hole. You're not going to go out and whip out your journal and start saying, “This is how I want to feel.” You just say, “Does this belong to me? Who does this belong to?”I'm an equal opportunity of different processes, that I'll give credit to that came from access consciousness is asking questions and really checking in with your body. If it feels good and light, it's usually your truth. If it feels bad, it's a lie or you're not in the right direction
I'll ask a question or I'll say, “How do I want to feel?””I want to feel joy,” or if I do have time to write in my journal, I'll write in my journal. I'll tell the truth because in the spiritual world, a lot of times is that people will put pressure on themselves to feel positive all day long and then be mad at themselves if they're not doing it right. If I were this Zen meditating momma all day, you compare yourself to an idealistic. You even find separation in the spirituality of it. That’s why I like to say I'm spiritual human. I get mad, I yell, but then how do I reclaim my power back? My mentor precedence says you reflect, you don't regret.
It’s about telling the truth. It's a soul dustbuster. You tell the truth about it and then sometimes, it's better to call a friend. You get it out, but then you don't stay stuck in the victimization of it. Then you say, “How do I want to feel now?” Then the clarity comes, even ask for the clarity to come. Then a lot of times my clients were like, “But the clarity didn't come yet.” I'm like, “Just chill out and just take a walk. Take your mind off of it.” A lot of times, walking is good for me around that, walking or people say meditating. I meditated but not everybody likes to meditate. Meditation can take the place of going on a spin bike or walk or watching a movie, whatever you need to do to get into that place of not thinking about it so a new awareness could show up.
So many different ways that you've just described it when we're feeling that funkiness, it's generally because we've given our power away. Being able to reflect and identify how we want to feel and then allowing for it by doing something, changing your state and focus, you then allow yourself to come back to even.
Sometimes people will say, “Go back into gratitude,” but I say it's about getting into a place of just feeling satisfied for no reason and getting back to the basics. It's so easy as entrepreneurs to always be in the gap of what's not getting done or all the things we have to do or the overwhelm or that you have this new social media platform that came out and everyone's now jumping on the bandwagon. You're like, “I didn't even master the Instagram yet. What am I going to do?” Then all of a sudden you get yourself into a spin. I'm like, “My only job today is to feel good and how can I bring joy into my day.” I take it from there. In terms of giving your power away, it's just checking in and making sure that the people that you entrust, they're vetted.
It's easy to go onto someone's website and see that they have all these testimonials and this and that, but check in with your own gut and get some information on that person that you trust. What makes me crazy is that when people come to me and then they say, “I spent $5,000 on this marketing strategist,” and then they didn't give them anything. They didn't care about them. I'm like, “I got to you too late. I would have referred you to this person because I've vetted them.”Things can always still go wrong in a relationship and it has happened. For the most part, I've curated great people that I trust and it's important that people don't get taken advantage of.
[Tweet “If it doesn't feel good, then don't do it. @BrookeConnect @NiczTheName”]
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Where did that passion come from? Had you had experiences where you went through things before you understood how to vet people in that proper way where you felt taken advantage of?
I can't think of a specific example, but I definitely have spent a lot of money on my business education and my self-help education and in a lot of ways, there were times that I've taken courses where they use specific manipulation tactics to get you to run to the back of the room. It's this pressure cooker situation and it feels it feels icky as opposed to coming from a place of selling from a place of serving, which I know you had that interview but one of my mentors also gave me that. I didn't want to come across that way. For me, it's important that it's the right fit and to not worry and get attached about getting the sale. If that doesn't feel good, I usually can pick it up when people are in that space and have that agenda with me. I'm passionate about sticking up for people, not getting taken advantage of. That really upsets me.
There were so many situations where I made choices that in hindsight and in retrospect weren't necessarily the best choices, but they were the best that I could do at the time. I didn't have the information. I am going through hiring different people. I had hired a number of assistants that I didn't do a good job hiring or managing or whatever the case may be. I spent a lot of money over the last years making “mistakes.” I only realized they are mistakes now because I know better. I also realized that if I hadn't have had those experiences, then I wouldn't be in this situation I am now to make that better decision. I was telling a friend of mine, I hired a company to source an assistant for me and the last one I got from them was amazing to where I just went back and hired them again and we’re just processing it. On the one hand it's like, “I wish I found this company sooner,” but the other hand, it's like, “I would not have seen this company sooner.”
If the owner of this company came into my awareness a year and a half ago, for example, I could have potentially saved the last year and a half of stress and heartache and money and all that stuff, but I probably wouldn't have because I wouldn't have been at the point of frustration and exhaustion that I got to when he literally walked in the same path as me and we had to have that conversation. I like to look at things too, even those icky feelings. It's like I like to look at those and appreciate that I made the choices I did, rather than feeling like, “This was horrible. I wish I hadn't done it.” It's just like when I launched my Business Building Rockstars Summit the first year. I did that because of all the things that I was disgusted by, which I didn't know at the beginning. I love that we also can have these experiences and not feel that victimization, as you said, but really reflect and take the win away from it.
What's the gift in it and where's the gold? Any choice that you make, there's no wrong choice because what I'm hearing you say, and this is what I'll do a lot, is I'll listen and people will laugh at me. They're like, “You're going to write a thank you note to that boss that was nasty to you because now we get to reflect on what we want.” First, we’re going to write all the things that we didn’t like about that person and now we're going to flip it. We're going to have a clear picture of what you're wanting and to bring into your experience. They are gifts, even though in the moment it didn't feel like that.
For me, it’s in the beginning phase of my self-help days, I used to think, “I've done all this work. I should get a get out of jail free card,” because of all the things or maybe I've acquired some Karma miles. No one escapes their time in the barrel. It's a matter of consciously going through it. At times, you might need to powerfully choose to be a victim about it and not spiritually bypass those feelings and then you can take it and grow from it. I do think it is a divine timing. I was speaking to a client who launched a book and had she not hired that marketing company, that book idea was germinated as a result of that. It was a gift.
I love that you said that about consciously choosing. If you want to feel funky, just making that decision that, “I'm good” with feeling funky. That's where I need to be right now. What I got from what you said, the impulse was that you just don't stay there. It's like, “This is how I want to feel right now. I feel victimized or I feel icky or whatever that case may be, I'm just going to sit with that for the next little bit and then I'll be over it.” Is that what you were getting at?
I've been through so many waves of it. In my early twenties, I went through depression and anxiety and things like that. At the time and when you're young, you don't realize those phases are going to pass and because I'm so high functioning with all the work that I've done, that I now have that knowledge. When I go through those phases or things where it feels so overwhelming, I could just powerfully choose it and then when I'm ready, “What can I do to feel a tiny bit better?” It could be a day or it could be weeks, but I'm consciously aware.
When I was up in the mountains, I was at seminar in Snowmass and it was Alan Cohen, he wrote the book, The Dragon Doesn't Live Here Anymore and I'll never forget, he said, “The tide always comes back in.” I always default to that statement. Sometimes you can hear a statement and it's like this big a-ha for me and you're listening, it didn't mean anything to me. For me, it was so powerful because I always go back to it. It's just a cycle. I don't need to rush out of it but I have enough there to, “What's a tiny thing I could do to feel better right now?” I don't advocate emotional eating, but once in a while a black and white cookie doesn't hurt.
I love, to listen, too that you say a tiny bit better. I think too often we expect to snap out of something and be back to great and it's like, “You can't go from feeling like shit to feeling great.” I guess you can, but oftentimes we need a bit of a bridge and so building that bridge just little by little, it intensifies the speed and at which we get back to great by allowing ourselves to not try and jump from one side to the other, but rather, just starting.
It's giving yourself that permission. “I'll just take a little walk or get dressed or I'll brush my hair” or whatever it is that you need to do to make yourself feel better
There are two things for me that help me feel at peace and at ease that I love to do and are part of why I moved to where I live now. It's walking down by the water. I feel chill the water. Also, the other one, which I was so excited to have you join me, is the vineyards. I moved to the Niagara Region of Ontario because I was here and I was like, “There's something magical and life-giving.”Having those places or those things that we do where we can really identify like, “This feels life-giving to me.”If I'm feeling crap I'll just be like, “I got to stop what I'm doing. It doesn't matter what doesn't get done, it doesn't matter what needs to get done, I'm going to go take a walk down to the water or I'm going to go drive out to the middle of the vineyard country and just be there.” It's something special.
Those things don't cost money and that's the beautiful thing. It doesn't mean you have to go on a shopping spree or anything like that. It's fun, but I love that you said that. That area is, I had never been there before and it is so magical and I'm so grateful that I got to see it through your eyes because it is a beautiful place.
While you were there, you helped me with an issue that I'm dealing with and you talked about this process that you do and you've done in so many different instances and so many different ways. I wonder if you can give everyone this little nugget of you make a list to call in to your world what you want, this manifestation exercise. If they are in X situation, how you walk your clients through and what you do yourself to have Y outcome?
This process is what I refer to that I got trained into the amazing Jan Stringer and her book is called Attracting Perfect Customers. I took you mostly through phase one and we probably don't have time to go through all the phases. At the end of the day, you're building a lighthouse. What we reflected on before about knowing what you don't want, we get to attract what we do want. Let's say for example, you're looking for your perfect joint venture partner, you get to then write the list of very specific things that you want in that partner.
If you've tried to look at partners before, let's just say they didn't customize the swipe copy and things went wrong on your last launch. Then we first are going to look at what went wrong and what you don't want? We write that list and then we go into your perfect characteristics. What you do want? All the characteristics and qualities of that person. They are their word. If they say they're going to mail out four times, they're going mail out four times. They're going to take the time to customize the copy. They are someone that we are friends and that we really enjoy working together. They refer other joint venture partners to me.
Some of this works. Let's say, you want a new coach and then it works if you want also for an assistant. There are some things that happen that what I coach people through is, for example, when I was sending out a marketing proposal to a concierge client at the time. Before I had met with them, we have great communication. We had our business meeting and the rapport was incredible. I like high off the meeting. I sent them my proposal and I didn't hear back from them for three weeks. We had great communication, but they respond to my proposal within 48 hours. Now, it's not getting into a place of attachment. It's just like, “Wouldn't this be nice and this would bring me joy?”When we get to into conclusion about it, this is my recommendation if you're going to do this process, is to really just get into the playfulness and the joy of what would make you happy. In an ideal world, who would this person be like, and what would be really fun for you?
[Tweet “If it’s not fun, it's not worth doing. @BrookeConnect @NiczTheName”]
To me, it's important that they be fun. They're 100% responsible for their experience. There are certain specific things that I will get them to be more specific. This works with also in relationship. I did this for my baby nurse. I didn't think I could ask for everything and I wrote it on a napkin and I was like, “I don't know how spiritual the baby nurse is going to be.” I wrote it on the napkin and she came for the interview and she had her Bible and it was great. Then it turns out, while she was in the house, she was super into all of the books that I had. We were reading them together and we were having conversations and it was so much fun. I think that's just what it is. It's a tool to just get clear about what you're wanting and then it's just a course correction. Then as things come up, you're like, “I didn't really like that,” then you can just shift things in the same way that I just described.
Thank you so much for sharing that. It was a very powerful exercise and we did that little part and what you've just shared is so incredibly powerful for people to start calling that in. I would love for you to share if people want more of your support directly, one-on-one with the attraction plan or any of the magic that you sprinkle your magical fairy dust. If anybody would love to connect with you, to continue the conversation, how can they do that? I think you also have a free gift for my audience.
They could go to BrookeEmery.com/BBRS. I have a free Beats Alchemy Frequency for abundance for you to listen to for five minutes and some other things on the page, how to get in touch with me and it'd be great to hear from you.
Any final words of wisdom or thoughts you want to leave my audience with?
My last thought is if it’s not fun, it's not worth doing. Just do good and have fun and follow your bliss as Joseph Campbell says.
Brooke, thank you so much for being here with me.
Thank you so much for having me. It's an honor. I'm so grateful for you.
- Brooke Emery
- Way of the Peaceful Warrior
- Strategic Attraction Plan
- Interviews That Convert
- The Dragon Doesn't Live Here Anymore
- Attracting Perfect Customers
- @BrookeConnect – Twitter
- @BrookeConnect – Instagram
- Brooke’s LinkedIn
- Brooke’s Amazon Author's Profile
About Brooke Emery
As a Possibility Synergist and Spiritual Guide, Brooke’s true gift is her wide-angle lens for potential. Her vision reveals opportunities for her clients. With her background in advertising, marketing, film, public relations, Brooke always finds creative ways to meet her client’s objectives.
Brooke has been recognized by Forbes as a natural connector with a jelly bean jar of creatively brilliant people in her life. She partners with and matches up spiritually minded entrepreneurs, Internet marketing mavens, and creative thinkers, to cross-pollinate and promote progressive joint ventures
She is a secret weapon for many visionaries, best-selling authors, and speakers who come to her for connections, business development, and spiritual guidance.
Thanks again to Chris Badgett for supporting the Business Building Rockstars Show.